Mo’Nique Molested By Brother:Mo’Nique Brother Molester Her – Mo’Nique has revealed in the October 2008 issue of Essence Magazine,that she was sexually abused by her own brother.She said:
“I was molested by my older brother.” “And even when I confronted him and told my parents, he said I was lying, and nothing was really done.”
Mo’Nique added that her brother molested her four times over the course of four years. He often used candy to lure her into the bathroom, where much of the abuse took place, beginning when Mo’Nique was just seven.Her parents,never believed her.She explained:
“because me and my brother were both their children, and I just don’t know the kind of position they felt they were in.”“My father was very upset, but it never got mentioned again. I’ll never forget my mother saying, ‘If it’s true, it will surface again,’ and I remember thinking, ‘Why would I lie? Why is there even an if in this?’ I was angry with them for so long, because I felt as if they should have seen what was happening.”“My brother was a monster to me.”
Her brother went on to serve 15 years in prison for sexually abusing another girl and has never apologized for Mo’Nique’s sexual abuse.
“He still acts like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. So screw hurting your feelings. You need to get your feelings hurt, and you need to get some help.”
what’s really sad is not the part about her being molested, but being by her own brother. and shame on the parents when something is up like that they should have known better and not let the subject go unexplained. they could have reported him to the police and saved the other girl a chance to be molested by him.
Sad story indeed.
i think that is so wrong 4 dat 2 b her own brother it makes me sick i would never let him by any of my children or anybody i love he is a true monster 4 doin dat 2 ur own sister and the parents r monsters 2 think about that y would a 7 year old b even thinkin bout dat so they wer wrong 4 not beleaving her b-cuz if u think aboout it she was thinkin of baby dolls so 4 her 2 have that on her mine something must of been goin on dont u think mo’nique if u read this u can always forgive but u never 4 get so keep ya head up and keep doin ya thing love ya biggest fan mrsz.quona…..
Mii heart goes out to u Monique because I have been in tha same position nothing hurt worse than noone taking any consideration in tha matter that dis incident happen after begging them to do something about it !
Well Mo, looks like it did resurface, but an innocent child was abused because of it. I commend your strength because if you don’t let it out it will kill you and ruin your life. Your brother is indeed a sick man. Instead of protecting you, he hurt you.
Thanks for sharing this Mo’Nique and I pray that someone is helped and given the courage to speak out against this evil. I pray that parents start acting on their children’s behalf and stop putting their embarrassment and emotions first! May God keep His loving arms around you and others who have gone though any kind of abuse.
thatz so heartbreaking that u had 2 go threw something like that=(
shouldnt nobody during there childhood years have 2 worry about getting
sexually abused
I couldn’t help but to feel Monique’s pain becuz the same sick ridiculous thing happened to me.I know how she feels.I been there too.It’s a unexplainable feeling and its even worst to just think back on it,Jesus.But it didn’t kill us.Just keep ya head up big sis,love you!Your fan the young black beauty diva.
THIS WAS A SAD STORY THAT IREAD…….. WHATS REALLY SAD WAS BEING MOLESTED BY YOUR BROTHER
Mo’nique I am very sorry this happed to you and your mother did not think it was true, and your father did nothing . Parent should always trust her or his child, and get to the bottom of it . Your brother has to pay for his sins like we all do. Now that he was cought, what did your parent say if anything?. Your brother knows what he did if he acts like he dosen’t. Mo’nique you didn’t let this keep you down. You are a very strong woman. Stay strong.
May God Bless You and keep you strong.
I used to talk to a girl who came up to me on campus..
I stopped talking to her when she left her Myspace on at my house and I saw that she only had 1 message in her inbox from some guy who she was talking really dirty to…
So, I was signing up for classes on the last day to register.
I picked a class that she happened to be in…
So when I showed up, she was so pissed off that I was there…
She accused of Sexual Harassment…
A month later, I was found innocent by a peer jury.
I still had conversations on AIM that I printed and brought to the hearing…
It included nude photos that she sent me of herself…
It still did totally destroy my semester.
I was treated horribly.
I had 1 semester left to finish my degree too…
I decided to leave GMU after that, because of the way that the administrators treated me and also because they wanted me to pay the late fee for the class that I had to drop and take an F for, because of that foolish girl.
I ended up doing a year of back-up time for a charge I plead to a year earlier when my girlfriend’s sister at the time robbed me and set me up in a drug deal.
I was 19 when that happened, and the 3 public defenders really just spent a year trying to help convict me, because I wouldn’t snitch, because I wanted to save the relationship with the girl.
And when I signed up for that class with the girl in it… I got to go to it one time… And the class discussion was about murder… and is it ever justified…
I brought up Native Son, by Richard Wright as an example of murder sometimes being an accident based on conditions…
She out bursted “you can’t justify murder, Mickey!”
All I could say was “I wasn’t trying to justify murder…” When she got up with a red face and went to file the charge on me.
This girl told me that she had been spying on me for 2 years and wishing she was the girl I was with for those two years, no less.
Anyway… Coming from a nice guy who has always respected women. Who has done time for women… Who didn’t even kiss a girl ’til he was 16…
I send you healing energy and a lot of Love.
I really am sensitive to how much society neglects children in general…
I almost married a woman who had a 10 year old boy and an 8 year old girl…
Having been molested at the age of 4, and raped at the age for 14… It was almost impossible for me to address the deviousness that was forming in her children as a result of not being looked at properly by their own parents…
Sigh…
Again, I send you + energy. Stay strong and continue to speak up to help elucidate important matters in our community.
Blessings,
M
You don’t need to post that, it just struck a personal note with me.
Do you forgive him? I mean, I know that we are all supposed to forgive, but this seems a little hard!!! Such a sad story. I mean its your own brother, your blood. I would say that a brother is supposed to love you, be there for you, stick up for you. Dont you agree
something else that really hurts and I’m about to go into couseling about…how dirty I feel for being molested by an older cousin and never telling because it felt good.until this day we have never spoke on it but I truly believe that it is the basis for my life taking such a negative turn.This bastsard still comes around and is able to look me in the face like it’s never happened.
when i read stuff like this it makes me sick to my stomach. It’s her brother tho! its just so unexpected.Im glad she is able to over come that. I just want to know why. why put people in those terrible conditions? why make they hurt? it makes no sense
I know how Mo feelz, i was molsted and rape by 2 of my older brothers from when i was 5 to 14…. it the worst feeling ever, i would take death any day rather then living through this pain. i’m now 16 and my life is just totally messed! i havent told anyone about it and theres days when i just want to give up on life all together, .. I wish i was strong as Mo!, shes a Super Strong women for being able to live through the pain. she is a successful and amazing women.. i admire her to the fullest
I AM SORRY MO HAD SUCH BAD EXPERIENCES BUT ALL FAMILY LOVE ISNT BAD. I GREW UP WITH 2 BROTHERS AND 8 SISTERS BACK IN LATE 60s AND MID 70s AND IT WASNT DISCUSSED OR DONE AROUND EACH OTHER, AT LEAST NOT KNOWINGLY,I HAVE HEARD AND SEEN SEXUAL FAMILY RELATIONS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE.I WAS 5 AND MY YOUNGEST SISTER WAS 3.MY OLDEST BROTHER WAS 17 AND SISTER WAS13. MY FATHER SEXED ALL MY SISTERS TILL HE DIEDWHEN I WAS 8. MY OLDEST BROTHER WAS NOW MAN OF THE HOUSE AND STARTED SEXING MOTHER AND OLDER SISTERS. GRANDDAD LOVED MY YOUNGER SISTERS/TOUCHING THEM BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND RUBBING HIS THING ON THEM UNTIL COME.WE WERE AND STILL IS ALOVING FAMILY AND ARE ALL MONEY MAKING PROFESSIONALS
to lost sole
Keep your head up…just have faith and things will work out. The same thing happened to me with 2 of my brothers and 1 of my brother’s physical abused me daily (so i had 3 brothers giving me hell) so I know what your going through cause i felt the same way u did at your age….but with GOD and some therapy, i’m able to make it all these years. Now it never leaves but once you know how to deal with it life will get better. I will keep u in my prays.
I was so sad to read what happened to Mo’Nique as well. It’s hard when your parents dont believe you (mine did not). It’s hard, but parents please just listen to your kids and dont just leave your kids with just anybody. Please
NO HARM- JUST BEING HONEST. VERY COMMON IN RURAL SOUTH
To Ronnie on MAr.5th 2010 – I DONT SEE THE POINT ON U SHARING THAT!!.
YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS NASTY!!!!!!!
but sadly theres sooooo many like yours
….and to Lost sole Feb.22 & ALL OTHERS WHO EXPERIENCED ABUSE….GOD WILL BE WITH U TO THE END OF UR DAYS….LOOK TO HIM & KEEP UR HEADS UP!!!!!
ALL MY LADIES WE SHUUD LEARN SOMETHIG FROM HEIDI FLIESS…..
LADIES!!!: IF U R BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED……”CHOP HIS PENIS OFFFFFF!!!” then wat can he do!! 😀
Yours truly,realtalk50
Yea I feel bad for her too I was Molested as a child I was only 4 at the time by my cousin and my moms cousin to.my cousin was about 18 years old at the time and I sall him as a brother I still see him but I never confronted him but one day I will,unwed to let him know tat I still remember all the things he did to me and made me do to him.I can’t say I hate him cause I don’t I don’t love or like him eaither.but it is true wat a lot of peaple say “god will punish in time”he married has two children boy and girl and his son is altistic and he worries alot about his daugter no one know why but i do but he suffers a great deal for his kids and wife but I wish his kid and wife would not go to harm cause it should not be them suffering in life it should b him And 4my moms cousin he’s in jail 4rapeing his daugter and i feel very sad for tat to.I was never raped but I was molested 4 about 4years.i am 23years old married and I have 3 children which somtimes I regret bringing to the world but I love my kids and I stopet going to school,work and everything 4myself to b a stay a home mom 4me to raise my kids I am truly sorry to everyone who gone threw this very sorry.I pry every nite to the lord to help every child in the world tat goes threw this and I even pry for the ones who hurt all of us for them to stop and for god to forgive them we have to pry for each other and god will always forgive but let me asure u tat god does have a pit for the and gates of angels for the good so let’s not have no hate cause god will take care of tat 4us thanks for reading oh yes and for REALTALK50 it was not ronnies family being nasty it was TJ’s family.if u read this Ronnie sorry for wat happen to u b a strong person and don’t hate just love and pry for the ones who hurt u cause god he’s real and he loves us
So sorry to realtalk50 I was reading the wrong story I feel like a idiot sorry and mylast comment was to TJ not to Ronnie. Just to tired to read and write it’s 3:36am my apologies
Wow I know some family members are dirty but this is crazy. Some are sicker than others and this includes parents too. A child lies about stealing candy or doing mischevious things not about somebody touching them that makes them feel uncomfortable. I had a similar experience with a family member and couldn’t understand what I had done to have this person touch me like that. This has followed me all my life and now at the age 50+ I’m finally understanding some it. This has affected all my relationships and I couldn’t understand why they never lasted even my marriage. I don’t have any words for your parents cause mine was somewhat the same. My mom did confront the person and I got cussed out for it. I was only nine and I was told in no uncertain terms I was flirting with someones husband. What does a nine year old know about flirting? As you can see this was a grown man that got into my bed and did this, but I was flirting. He should have gone to jail, but my God had a better plan. This man lost his wife, children, home and died from AIDS. It still remains the same with the feelings unless I continue to help myself. Mo’Nique learn to love and forgive but you never have to forget. I hope and pray you find peace with this, because it can eat you up. I Love You Girl, keep your head up and move forward, God got your back!!!!!!!
who gives a flying fuck? She’s still a huge piece of shit that is way too loud and ugly to try to get away with having hairy legs. I find it funny he used candy to lure her fatass into the bathroom. Maybe he really wanted her to clean the bathtub ring that she left when she squeezed her dimply pot-marked ass into the tub? She is a talentless hack.
PARENTS ALWAYS BELIEVE YOUR CHILDREN AND WHAT HAPPEN WILL LEAVE A SCAR MY OWN MOTHER NOT BELIEVING ME WOULD LEAVE PAIN WITH THE SCAR
dis is so sad , and so parents today are ignoring the fact that this is true .. i tend to think that this inncident has made monique stronger. im happy to see that she is doin well and that her career is going great. i wish you the best monique and i am cheering for you in watever you do . God bless yu and may he continue to bless you, your family and career throughout your life .
i was treated like a princess in my family because i was the only female and at age 4 i was thick and beautiful with long hair and very sweet and loving. i was at my uncles house he wanted me to help him feel good and i did everything he wanted and it happened with other uncles and brothers until age 10 . i did not know it waswrong until i was a teen.i still love them and iforgave them and mo should do the same and move on
i am so sorry for the pain you suffered at the hands of your brother. i too was molested as a child and never told any one. i thought i was to blame, it happen at a home day care. the person was the owners 16yr old son. he often was left in charge of the kids who were picked up by their parents after school. i was so afraid my father would not belive me so i waited in horror on those days. when that monster was 18 yrs old he went to jail for rape of a teen-age girl. i always felt gulity for not telling on him. that girl would not have been abused.
o.m.g i cant believe he did that 2 u…n . ur parents didnt believe u.. but i would of whoop that bitch ass..
{SAD STORY:((((
shamaya, u are so stupid for posting that nasty comment about monique. but instead of saying what i want to say to you, i’ll say a prayer for you!! Mo i pary that GOD will continue to strength you!!
shamaya, u are so stupid for posting that nasty comment about monique. but instead of saying what i want to say to you, i’ll say a prayer for you!! Mo i pray that GOD will continue to strength you!!
#1)its sad what she had to endure and even worse is the fact that its so common. How you could not believe your child is beyond me. #2)I wonder what happened to “Lost Sole?” No child should endure that I implore you to TELL SOMEBODY. Brothers or not that is not a life that you have to willingly endure
My sister took the secret of being molested by our brother to her grave at 26! It destroyed her and threatens to destroy me – I had no idea and our parents choose to protect their precious son over their daughters who have been devastated by this ordeal. Knowing someone else has endured similar pain brings me to tears and again reminds me of the sweet soul I’ve lost to this B**s#%t!
BTW her molestation began at 4 and went until 12 when Dad “caught” them and threatened him within an inch of his life not to touch her again, yet nothing more…soon after she began suffering migraines, seizures, and even attempted suicide but nobody wanted to face the connection, the root s, and she had his back and never “told.” After she was dead he admitted that “he never really liked his sisters” yet I’m the B*&#@h that’s cutting ties with the whole damn family that’s stood by…..
lost sole – please sweetie don’t let this destroy you. Take today and Mo as one strp in the right direction toward your empowered life. Keeping the secret will destroy you, don’t let those boys live without confrontation and accountability like my sister, she’s dead but surely looking out for girls like you! Be stong…
Mo’nique, in my opinion, still does not believe that she deserves the best. She gas publically said that her husband can cheat and she is ok with it. She does not think that she us worth more than that. Her family seems confused about her decision to go public. Even Oprah has never named her molester. I think Mo’s husband is a bad influence on her. She deserves to be upset but it’s not the world’s business. I hope she can find inner peace and realize that she is funny, beautiful, talented and does not need to settle for less.
Hi Mo’Nique – I just listened to the Oprah show with your brother. I have never been molested nor have I been a molestor. I don’t pretend to possibly understand the pain that you have endured. What struck me about the interview was the pain the rest of your family is in also. It seems that the pain touches everyone in different ways. Also as a parent ,as much as I would like to believe one child over another I can only imagine how confused and conflicted I would be. I would definitely believe a young child coming to me and relating to me details of abuse and I do hope your parents acknowledged that for you. I can only begin to guess what the next right step would be – obviously help for everyone would be in order. What I do know, and it’s very little pertaining to this type of situation, is about life in general. I would hope that you could find it in yourself to forgive your brother, if not for him for youself. I would also hope that with some help for all of you that your family could define a ‘new normal’ and come together. Certainly you cannot go back to the way it was. I would also pray that you could find it in your heart to forgive your parents and have them all back in your life to what degree you can little by litte. Mo’Nique – I never heard of you before the academy awards (guess b/c I am 62 I may be a little behind the 8 ball with what’s happening in the entertainment world). But, at the age of 62 I’ve been around the block many times with many mistakes under my belt and many hurts. I can tell you without hesitation that forgiving is a whole lot better than living with anger over what happened. Your brother was in your shoes ‘once’ as someone that was molested. Is it possible that is ‘wasn’t’ the real him that molested you? Is it possible that the one who is talking today is the one that always loved you. He needs forgiveness as much as you need to forgive – it’s a gift only you can give. I will pray for you tonight and your family.
i did not know it waswrong until i was a teen.i still love them and iforgave them and mo should do the same and move on
Pam, I love your spirit!! I too was a victim of child molestation by a relative (not my brother). As time went on, I carried in my mind that there was a 2 1/2 year age difference between us and this was done mainly out of curiosity..not to hurt or harm me. I forgave a long time ago and moved on.
However, my family doctor attempted to get at me with his body thrust between my legs at about age 13, while my mother was sitting outside in his office. I kicked him between the legs and went out to sit with my mother. He came out all flustered. I never told my parents. My dad would have killed him!! No doubt!
I find it disgusting that this brother NOW steps forward, the sick f*ck, and for her parents to not believe/protect her? What kinda s*it is that? If ANY of my children came to me with a story of their brother even touching them inappropriately, I think i’d probably have my son arrested – then get him some counseling!
I occasionally ask my daughters if anyone has touched them or made them feel embarassed about their privates – because its NOT their fault! But goodness, to be a 7 yo CHILD and being molested by your own BROTHER, it makes my stomach want to hurl!!!
I PRAY that the other VICTIM has received counseling and THANK GOD for the courage that Monique showed in stepping out of the shadows to put this insidious predator’s actions right back in his lap – he DESERVES to be embarassed, among other things! I wonder how her parents feel now, they didnt protect their daughter and he molested another child and probably countless others as a result of their inaction as it related to their own daughter!!
SHAME ON YOU PARENTS!!!
It is sad for both her and her brother. They were both abused and victims and children. The problem is we see him as an adult, but he was 13 and on drugs. It must have been tough on the parents. It is easy to hate if someone else had done it. I pray God blesses there family to heal there wounds and come together.
Really sick behavior, it is hard to know if they never really be a family again…I don’t know if I could ever trust my parents or my brother if this happened to me. I have much respect to Monique for rising above this and being a survivor.
Of course, not one know what her parents were thinking or how they saw the situation. But, is is very hard for me to hear that one child is abusing another and look the other way…
Mo’ keep doing your thing. You have mad talent and as a sista who has been molested by her older brother as well, I am proud that you have made those strides for all of us. Keep strong and be proud of who you are. You are a beautiful black talented queen. My mother only sent my brother away and never dealt with the pain he caused me and my younger sister. I have been through lots of trials and therapy for me to realize, I did nothing wrong and that my brother was a very sick individual. Nothing was ever done to him so I have no idea if he has ever touched another child, noone else has ever come forward. We did and were able to get help. God has helped us through and He will help you too. To the sick bastards doing and condoning that behavior, God will take care of you, as well.
Mo’nique is the ugliest thing this side of creation. i’m male and my own disgusting mama molestered me! the fat black bitch!!!!
i mean that is something painful to relay to think about and mo mo dnt woryy cuz ur day will com
There is a big knot in my stomach after reading all these comments – so many comments by women/girls who were sexually abused by their brothers (or other relatives)! The number of comments about it makes sexual abuse by brothers seem more common than I’d ever realized. This is really sickening & makes me so angry. Many of the commenters above who mentioned being sexually abused said that they never told anyone (also, not one of their sexual abusers were prosecuted & convicted as a result of the abuse inflicted against them). The saddest thing about being sexually abused by a close relative (rather than by a non-relative) may be that it cuts right to the core of the family – and disclosing the abuse often has more negative repercussions.
I was really upset for Mo’nique. I know how that feels. When I was ten my sister molested me. She has always been bigger than me and we slept in the same room. She only did it once, because the next time she tried I called my Mom. She thought she could get away with it because my Mom and Dad were having a party. My Mom heard me and came thank God! I never told her until I was about 19. The only reason why I said anything was because my brother told me she had been molesting him since he was 7. He told my grandmother but my Mom didn’t believe it. She didn’t believe it until she came home early and caught them. She got help for my sister, but my brother to this day still suffers with it. I am the only one he can relate to about it. It’s hard. My Mom told me my sister was molested by someone when she went to visit relatives down south. I don’t know if it’s true or not. My sister has a mean streak and she feels we are her possessions. I am almost 50 and I try not to dwell on the past but for a long time it messed up my relationships with men and women. I am married and I have a good husband. I told him about it when we first started dating. He told me that it happens more than we think.
Poor Mo’nique =(
She deserves more respect ! ! !
I love Mo’nique so much.She or even no sister is supposed to be treated like that.
It let´s us to know that there is nothing in this world done in secret that will not be one day unearthed. Scripture says that ´´your sins will find you out.´´
But is the brother really a monster ?You see canal people beings have ways of rendering their judgement.And God has His ways too.The brother isn´t a monster but he allowed himself to be used by the ´´monster´´
There is nothing we do in this world whether good or bad that doesn´t have a spirit behind it either Holy Spirit or evilspirit. You remember what the scripture says about the fruits of the Holy spirit? like love,joy temperance etc. which means the fruits of the evilspirit /corrupt spirit /dead conscience would be otherwise.
So,in this case we gotta help the brother through The Word of God,spiritual counselling and prayers.Cuz there is nothing that The Word can´t do.Doctors may cure but The Word heals.
Mo´ please we love you so much and we are sorry for the incidence.Thanks for your courage.Love your brother still.Don´t allow this incidence to load in hatred in your spirit against your brother thereby hindering you from taking part in the sooner expected rapture.Give him all the spiritual support that is necesary altogether been as well wise as a serpent.
Even the mother of my kids was molested the same way you werewhen she was still a child by her stepfather for some years.She hasn´t exposed the guy till today.And it is killing her emotionally and affecting her sexuall life.
I ´ve told her to open up.She said it will bring problem between the marriage of her mother and the guy.Even as this continued that time,she oneday told her mother ,her mother being contorlled by another spirit didn´t believe her.As a result she threw her out of the house and as a result she was taken to the adolescent home and there she grew up.Terrible.
So what we are experiencing in our society today is unbeleivable and unimaginable.
Parents,please love your children and please investigate issues thorooughly whenever they crop up.
THAT WAS F***EN SAD Y WOULD U OR ANY BODY HAVE THE AUDASITY TO DO SOME SH*T LIKE THAT II AM SO GLAD THAT II WAS RAISED UP IN AN HAPPY HOME..AND II DONT EVEN HAVE ANY BROTHERS AND NOW II AM 19 AND II DO NOT TOLERATE THINGS LIKE THAT…THAT WAS SOOOOO FREAKEN NASTY OF HIM BUT NOW MONIQUE U IS A BETTER PERSON N II LOVE U YOUR STYLE YOUR MOVIES AND ALL OF YOUR SHOWS..ILY MS.PARKER..
Been there. I didn’t dare say anything because he was the ‘golden’ child. He could do no wrong in my parents eyes and they held him up on a pedestal all their lives. My older sister was molested when she was 4 years old by a 13 year old boy and when she finally told Mom about the abuse when she was about 10 (6 years later) my Mom slapped her accross the face and called her a liar. I shut up. I never rold anyone, not even my husband knows about this. I was raped by my bro’s friend when I was 17 – first experience…I was drunk (after a wedding)…next thing I know – he’s on top of me and I’m not a virgin anymore. Destroyed my life…my confidence…my happiness. I felt scarred for life – as if everyone could see my shame-like it was written all over my face…awful.
I love mo’nique and for me to hear this makes me so sad. Similar shiit happened to me. I was adopted when I was 1 and I’ve been molested and raped almost everyday by “cousins”, yes more than one person. I was also raped by a “family” friend when I was nine years old. Most of them knew I was being molested but never really talked about it. Now that I’m older my life is a big mess, I can’t seem to get over it. I spoke to this lady at the church I use to go to and now my whole (adopted) family disowns me, they want nothing to do with me. I now have a 4 month old baby girl and we’re both homeless cos the family wants nothing to do with me so they completely wrote my baby off, they haven’t even seen her, she is so beautiful. Please pray for me and my baby, we need a home. I need to get past the past but I don’t know how. I’m 26 and I have nothing of my own, nothing for my daughter, I feel like a failure and like I’m letting my baby down. She deserves so much better but I CAN’T and WON’T give her up, maybe that’s selfish but she keeps me alive, she’s the only reason I’m alive today. Please pray for us both. And monique I’ll be praying for u hun. Rape ruin lives!
He was 13 years old! He was a kid himself. If he had murdered someone, he may not have been held fully accountable for it. He was molested himself and sounds like in a very downward spiral. He barely knew right from wrong. He learned through his own molestation experience that was how sex happens. Back then (even though it was the 70s) sex still wasn’t very talked about and it wasn’t as known then as it is now what the signs of molestation are and what to really do about it.
And saying ‘I was molested but I didn’t go out and molest anyone’ doesn’t mean that everyone reacts that way. Oprah responded to him at one point concerning the confusion him and his family have about why Mo’nique had a good family relationship with him all these years and why, seemingly all of a sudden, she is calling him a monster when she never did before.
Concerning the fact that Oprah said ‘everyone is different. We all do the best we can.’ But then why can’t she (and others) understand or apply that point when someone who has been molested actually molests. It’s known that these things affect how people act. They may not all molest but sometimes they do. Oprah said she became promiscuous, but not everyone who is molested becomes promiscuous, some go the exact opposite way. People could say she uses her sexual molestation to defend her past promiscuous behavior. But some people do become promiscuous because of it and some become more withdrawn sexually because of it, just like some who are molested go on to molest because of it, and some don’t because of it. Everyone reacts differently to molestation, or even exposure to sex in general, especially children. Some children may witness sexual acts or simulated sexual acts (say on tv) and try to imitate them and they will continue to do so until someone catches them and tries to teach them right from wrong. They get so many mixed messages and they aren’t born knowing right from wrong. Of course, I will tell my children not only ‘you tell me when someone touches you’ but also ‘don’t you dare touch anyone else.’ But I will watch them like crazy. Don’t assume a child understands all the nuances of everything, or will even do what you tell them. Like us they are bombarded with so much everyday, sometimes more than their little minds can process. How can we truly blame this young boy? He was a child himself and needed guidance. But how does a child get guidance when no one knows what happened to them. Yes he should’ve suffered repercussions but not for the rest of his life. Nowadays things are getting more open concerning child molestation and rape in general. We are more exposed now to the potential signs of a child being sexually abused in some way. (And just so people don’t think I’m just some diehard liberal, I believe sexually provocative billboards and tv advertisements,etc to be damned near the same type of child sexual abuse.) You can never expect or even explain sex well enough to a child for them to comprehend how to process this stuff. They will never fully understand any of it until they are much older. It is up to us to watch for the signs and be vigilant. You can explain to a child that they should tell you if something bad happens to them, but you can’t really ever expect them to protect themselves. Even when you tell them to tell you, they may never tell you. They may never even understand what is happening to them. You have to watch them with an eagle eye.
So many people have experienced it, men and women, and I fully expect the repercussions of our close-mouthed society and of our underlying shame of it and of sex in general, to go on for years and years.
I don’t agree with your statement “how could we blame him”. Yes he was only 13 but by age 13 you know right from wrong. How could he think it was right? He even went on to doing it to another little girl which he received jail time for. U mentioned that he was molested… Well I’m pretty sure that hurt him (not only physically but emotionally) and him doing it to someone else is hurting them as well, u can not tell me that he honestly didn’t know he was hurting her (and the other girls). By not blaming these molesters (because of age and the fact that they themselves were molested) you’re giving them an excuse to molest. “Its not your fault that you molested that little girl or that little boy…” How empty headed and rediculous does that sound? If they are not to be blamed then who is? By not blaming the molesters you’re only causing the victims to blame themselves more than they already are. Molesters do not need to be excused for hurting others, they are old enough to know where to touch others so they themselves can feel good then they damn sure should know better and should be blamed.
To Unspoken, may The Lord keep u and your child in His Favor because God is still in control no matter what. Keep the Faith and just hold on. We all will be judged and reap what we sowed no matter what. Right is right and wrong is wrong there is no in between, a lie is still a lie, size and color doesn’t matter. Children are all angels called upon the Lord. I raised my three kids to always feel free to tell me anything and everything because they didn’t ask to be born. I would tell them that I would always be there to protect them and God kept them in His Favor. I wasn’t playing about that I would have truly hurt someone, if any harm of that nature would have been bestowed upon my little ones at any given time. Most males think with their penis and that is all to it. That is why there is so much molestation and rape to this day and that is a shame. And when I hear about females doing that, it is truly sad, but look at the beginning of the source. God didn’t give humans the spirit of fear, that is Satan but he will be destroyed in the end and no more of all this sadness and madness in the world. All children are innocent until the devil steps in. Family is supposed to love and protect no matter what, not hurt and destroy and then wants to ignore and cover it up. And I have been hearing too many stories where the mother didn’t believe her own child and did nothing about it. Just like the sad story about the Debarges. Shame on these parents too.
Thank you!
he needs to be under a jail house because why would you do that. its your little sister why would that ever come to your mind of doing that to your little sister also thats going to mess her up for life.
i julia gray watch your show monique i like it .when i was a little girl my mom boyfriend tryed to mess with me and too sisters . my mom got upset and told him if you mess with my girls i will blow your head of . i was crying because he was drunk talking to me it was thanksgivie day my mom was at the store buying a turkey for thanksgivie . then he tryed to mess with me so i locked my self in the bathroom till my mom came thank you for leting me tell my comment . happy new year and merry christmas. monique your brother is big fat jerk you should be mad at that jerk . beacuse he hurt you . god will bless you .
You know every Oprah/Whoopie loving Black always run the molestation con. I can see why? Reading all of this fith is not necessary. Read Ronnie thread. They where one happy family according to incest azz. How about Pam, she says,” I was 4yrs old but thick and beautiful with long hair”, she should be put in jail just for saying that sH*t. You people are products of incest and molestation. Most of you are offsrping of this behavior.
—–Here is what I cannot understand, WHY do the parents never want to believe their child when she comes to them with something as serious as this ? WHY? ————– I can’t even count the number of times I have heard this over and over again and again. It also happened to me as a child. My stepfather molested me at the age of 9 and I went to my mother in tears and she also ignored it and on top of that sent me away to my grandmothers who raised me for the rest of my childhood years. So as a child I felt I had did something wrong. —- Also I have had MANY women who had stepfathers to admit to me that it happened to them as well. —What a tragic event for so many to have to go through and overcome.