Regina King VIBE Interracial Dating Essay:Tells Black Women To Explore Other Races – Regina King has written an open letter to Black women on VIBE.com about interracial dating, similar to the controversial essay Jill Scott wrote for Essence.com last month.
The actress says, “Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, ‘I want me a brother.’ Well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love—with Black men.
I have about five Black friends who date outside of their race. But all the other friends of mine, it’s either they vocally say that they won’t or every time an opportunity comes up for them to date outside of their race, there’s some excuse why it’s not going to work. They never really say it’s because he’s White, or because he’s Spanish or something like that. It’ll be more like, ‘Well, you know he works at such and such, and our schedules don’t match.’ But we all know really what it is. It’s ‘cause he’s White.
I think Black women need to open up. A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem. With women on a whole, what a man thinks about us means so much to us.
And 9 chances out of 10, that man didn’t even give a f*ck. He couldn’t even tell that you had a pimple that day or that your hair wasn’t done. Most men don’t even give a f*ck. And the men that do that are really paying attention that hard to your ass or titties or exterior stuff, that’s probably not the best person for you anyway. “
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I think you are right on point . Race doesn’t matter. It takes so much to get to the guy’s content of character
Let’s face it Regina, you are a honky lover. Do not hate other black women cause they do not view interracial relationships as you do. Keep on loving your white men and let the other black women do their thing. I use to like you but now I think you are a jerk!!!!
WHO GIVE A RATS A** WHAT REGINA THINKS !
WELL I WILL NEVER FIND LOVE THEN !
well, she right look at all the black men that marry these white women so what the different between black women dating white me i am all for it…hey it time we open of eyes too..and go out side our race..stop saying what you will not do. these black man are low down and dirty they treat those white women like gold and treat us like dogs poops…so i am with regina …..the only jerk is these black man who has $ they first choice is the white fat “b” or the Slim whore..look at tiger wood that why he out their looking to other women for sex because she think she so too good to have sex with her husband, she with to bed with him two times to get those kids for financial reason. he need a black women all his dream would come true that why i was so glad it was buy to the light..but she right we got to stop looking for these old sorry black man…
I got nothing but love for Regina and Jill Scott but their comments on black women needing to engage/be open to inter-racial relationships must be viewed in context. At a guess, 1) they’ve both probably had hurtful past relationships with black men, and 2) they’re social positions as artists places them in a racially diverse working environment where they are economically equal. It’s therefore much easier to engage in or even consider an inter-racial relationship under these conditions.
I’ve personally tried an inter-racial relationship so I speak from the heart when I say “you’ve got to understand who you are as a person” before embarking on one. For it to have a chance of success you’ve got to come to terms with all of the racial baggage that one accumulates over a life time in terms of history, opportunity, social and economic standing etc etc., and how you see yourself in relation to other races. Relationships are always a “work in progress” and it doesn’t help – when in times of difficulties – if racial differences then become a significant factor.
Personally, you got to love and work with who you are; racial difference is what makes this world a special place.
Peace
Its so hard for me as a BW to even think about dating outside my race, but BM’s are so sorry these days, it seems like I have no other choice. I hate the thought of it though..not sure why….
If black women date outside their race because they find a good man then fine. But don’t play yourselves and do it to make us jealous because we don’t care.
B*tch please! Just because you had a failed marriage with a brother don’t encourage other sisters to date out of their race. We are not a Black man’s reject. Besides, their D@#KS not big enough. They will be floating in an ocean. No MF my p___y not too big,your D—K ain’t large enough!
Jill Scott is the last person I would have thought would date outside her race seeing as she’s from Philly and all. Regina is with Malcom Jamal Warner now (from the Cosby Show) so people stop bashing her!!!. If I have to tell you the truth- as a black woman- I’m fine with dating other races.Men are men at the end of the day. But I just feel more comfortable with black men (GOOD black men!). I think when you really know who you are as a black person, you understand the world and this whole black men/white women thing doesn’t bother you. But to each their own.
Rregina you should shut the f*ck up how much did they pay u to try and create a thought u r not Oprah u have no power. keep your thoughts to your self is bthis the way u made it to fame. To the other female who says blackmen are sorry.
may be its u that is the problem maybe she gives him a chance as an individual and doesn’t throw him in a group with other men. Check and see if its u and for the white women maybe she lets him be a man and knows how to deal withj a man and doesn’t believe whats sold on tv to create sterotypes about them. Maybe u need to learn how to deal with men period. Stop spending time hating on white women and blackmen learn how to be a women because a real women know how to get what they wont out of a man as a real man knows how to get out of a women. Only a little girl complains about how they all are u must not have any intelligence because all black men are sorry if u says this know then how do u talk when you are dating one do u always complain and put them down. It seems as the black man and women have become enemies. If u learn how to deal with people u can get what u want i think ant brace can be sorry especially if they are always beat down.
joe u are ignorant & shouldnt leave comments when u are drinking. all she is saying is black women should keep their options open like a lot of brothers do instead of keeping their fingers crossed for a brother. also there are PLENTY of black women who know how to let a man be a man & deal with a man just like other women- no matter their race. she isnt hating on white women she is simply letting sisters know to keep their options open, she is NOT saying to only date outside their race. sounds like u are not w/a sister which is why u were offended but love is love- so if a sister or brother or someone of another race wants to date someone green is shouldnt matter. what matters are the ignorant stereotypes that brothers like u date outside ur race because u feel u r treated & respected more by a white woman-get real. what race was ur mother- she treated u w/respect & hopefully she treats u like a man- but maybe not since u leave questionable comments like that.
As a young black male, I agree with Regina. I have a little sister and if she wants to date someone outside our race its cool with me… As long as he treats her with respect and love. I have dated blk women all my life and now I’m dating someone who is not of my race. Ive gotten the evil eye from many blk women and I dont fault them for that. Its just the way the some people are brought up and I was brought up in a black household by nothing but black women. When I told my my mom that I was dating this girl she wasn’t too happy about it but after she met her, my mother’s opinion changed. Who’s to say I’ll be with this girl for the rest of my life and I’m totally open to dating black women again if this relationship doesnt work out and the right one comes along she will be top on my list. Coming from a 22 yr old BLACK male, there is nothing like a black woman. But no 2women are the same and thats the problem with people putting other people in categories. If youre happy then be happy. And you just have to be comfortable in your own skin and with the choices you make.My point is you just have to know who is right for you and who isn’t.
Well, I respect Regina’s opinion; it is what it is, just her opinion. I have dated outside of my race since I was in high school, not because I did not like men of my own Black race, but because black men have never asked me out. I am shorter than most, 5’2″ tall; height weight proportinate and attractive. However, have never had a date or been asked on a date by a black man. I got tired of sitting at home and was asked out by a man of latin decent. Although I knew he liked me, and visa versa, by the time he came around, I was graduating from high school. It’s complicated. I have been asked out by caucasion men from that day forward.
I met and married a man of Indian and British background and that last 7 years; our son gets out of college in two weeks. I have dated one man in college but once I found out everyone else was als sleeping with him, I ended that also after 10 years. Men who do not want a woman achieving more than they do, and for me alot of time, that also severes many of my relationships. Why do men not appreciate women who can earn money and why does this become a breaking point? Today, a woman should make decisions on what is available in our society, never based on race. I date who I fall in love with and never am concerned about their race.
Well, I respect Regina’s opinion; it is what it is, just her opinion. I have dated outside of my race since I was in high school, not because I did not like men of my own Black race, but because black men have never asked me out. I am shorter than most, 5’2″ tall; height weight proportinate and attractive. However, have never had a date or been asked on a date by a black man.
I got tired of sitting at home and was asked out by a man of latin decent. Although I knew he liked me, and visa versa, by the time he came around, I was graduating from high school. It’s complicated. I have been asked out by caucasion men from that day forward. I met and married a man of Indian and British background and that last 7 years; our son gets out of college in two weeks. I have dated one man in college but once I found out everyone else was als sleeping with him, I ended that also after 10 years. Men who do not want a woman achieving more than they do, and for me alot of time, that also severes many of my relationships. Why do men not appreciate women who can earn money and why does this become a breaking point? Today, a woman should make decisions on what is available in our society, never based on race. I date who I fall in love with and never am concerned about their race. Like I said, its complicated!
I can appreciate the comment made by the young brother, one has to be okay with who they are before they can be okay with someone else. Loving yourself comes first. I was raised by two people who today are still together, race has and is never an issue for me, because they are mised with so many different races. Any man has to respect me and treat me decent, if that happens, everything else is just the icing. Two people together should be two people together through thick and then if it works it works for you two and you two only. My father is African American and Chinese, he is my father and he works hard. His is also military; I would never say that my father or any man is sorry; women who categorize by putting all men of color in a category are limitint themselves with such a bad comment. Men are men, if they are decent, then they could be for you, if they aren’t its up to you to realize that and sever the ties. All I am saying is men can be mixed with anything and if we get along and treat one another respectfully, it helps the relationshop move forward, men who beat on women or women who call me stupid, simple, dumb or categorize should check themselves. It might be u causing the issues.
Equal Opportunity:) It shouldn’t matter the man between my sheet; what matters is the class of the man and the sheet! “The Lady has Spoken….HEREs your Token! holla back
YOU MARRY FOR LOVE…JUST DON’T BE UNEQUAL IN BELIEFS! meaning I Love GOD….I wouldn’t marry a man that hates GOD…simple….the bible speaks nothing about colors….only about beliefs from what i recall….anyone has a insight of scripture…speak on it